In a shocking twist of fate, Australian cricket fans were left reeling after the passing of Ashes legend Bob Cowper, who departed this mortal coil at the ripe old age of 84, leaving millions wondering if they could have ever become better cricketers with a bit more practice—or at least more snack breaks. Cowper, who valiantly battled cancer as one would battle a particularly tricky spin bowler, has left behind his wife Dale and two daughters, Olivia and Sera, who are now faced with the daunting task of cleaning out Dad’s cricket memorabilia collection—an effort akin to excavating ancient ruins, complete with dust, artifacts, and the occasional lost cricket ball. With a record of 27 Tests and a tally of 2061 runs at an impressive average of 46.84, Cowper’s batting career is lauded as one of glory. He managed to smash five centuries, which sounds impressive until you realize that some fans can barely manage five sessions of watching cricket without dozing off. Perhaps his most significant contribution to the sport was becoming the first player to notch a triple-century on Australian soil during the 1965-66 Ashes series, solidifying his legacy and the legend behind that seemingly simple practice of swinging a bat repeatedly at a ball. Look out, cricket historians! There's a new favorite in town, and it's Cowper's 311 runs! Yet all jokes aside, the cricketing world now finds itself pondering a stark reality: Can anyone truly fill Cowper's shoes? If past performances are anything to go by, most players can barely find their own cleats when it’s time to shine. In a poignant tribute, mourners are encouraged to don their best “cricket whites” to celebrate Cowper’s life. Fans are also invited to collectively mourn by watching reruns of his iconic innings while sporting nostalgic mustaches reminiscent of Cowper's heyday—it’s the only way to truly honor the greats. As the cricketing community comes together in sadness mixed with admiration, one thing is clear: Bob Cowper might have left the ground, but his legacies of mighty scores, fashionable mustaches, and the perpetual debate of who can bat better—Mum or Dad—will linger long after his departure. Now, who’s ready for a solid session of cricket trivia while the emotional wickets fall?