MILAN MAGIC ENDS EARLY PARTY FOR ISLANDERS In a thrilling display last night, Italian giants, AC Milan, deployed a battle tactic most foul, ruining the modest festivities of Cagliari after a sudden yet rare display of brilliance from Zito Luvumbo. Zito, a typically demure figure in Cagliari's squad, decided to shock both friend and foe alike in the 29th minute. Displaying a rare flourish, he caressed a zero-gravity levitating left-footed rocket into the top corner from an angle so tight it would make a conservative politician blush. But as it turns out, this 'Wake Up Zito' campaign that Cagliari's marketing team had cleverly foisted on their fans had not got the memo across to AC Milan. Apparently, they had not read it that they were supposed to leave Sardinia with tail betwixt legs. The gall of some people, eh? Lo and behold, in the 40th minute, there was Boris Radunovic, Cagliari's sacred son - the Gandalf of goalkeepers, parrying away the ball like a malignant wizard. Nevertheless, much like in the LOTR series, Gandalf's magic ended up going astray, and the dreaded demon, Noah Okafor daubed paint on what was once virgin canvas, by tapping into an open net. It was a cruel twist of fate, as if a teal duck had waddled onto the garden party in the Sardinian sun, only to relieve itself in the punch. But Milan weren’t done just yet. Oh no, they had a special delivery for the second act. Fikayo Tomori appeared from nowhere and hustled another loose ball into Cagliari's gaping net. Red and black confetti fell from the skies as every Rossoneri in sight donned the smug grin of the cat that got the cream, while Cagliari's supporters quickly remembered why they had grown so accustomed to the bitter taste of disappointment. And the irony? AC Milan's victory is sweet, flavoured with the proverbial tears of the Cagliari fans who were so close, yet so gut-wrenchingly far from that rare morsel of glory. So, dear fans, next time Cagliari scores an early goal and all hell breaks loose in joy, it might be wise to hold off popping the champagne, because AC Milan seems to have a knack for crashing parties.