In an unprecedented spectacle of unanimous declaration, prominent defensive giants from the Big Ten Conference declared the traditional adage, "Offense wins games, but Defense wins championships," is now merely ornamentation for motivational locker room posters. These football luminaries, with the impenetrable fortress that is the Big Ten defensive lineup behind them, daringly proclaimed that "Offense is Overrated." Dusting off their shoulder pads from countless opponents' futile assaults, they shared a collective chuckle. Their assertion, coming in the wake of five Big Ten defenders going in the first-round of the recent draft, has sent shockwaves through the sporting mumbo-jumbo, leaving the offensive side of the field as barren as a desert in midday. "For years, we were spoon-fed the myth that offense commands the game," said Devon Witherspoon, the freshly minted Illinois cornerback, "but reality tells a different story altogether. It's about time the world realizes that booming hits and stifling interceptions are way more enthralling than end-zone prances." The conference's other first-round picks, fortified by an assembly of NFL standouts like the Bosa brothers, Micah Parsons, T.J. Watt, Jeff Okudah, and Chase Young, stood firm behind Witherspoon's audacious claim. "We thought all along that those quarterbacks were just overgrown divas waiting for their spotlight moments," said a decidedly nonchalant Charles Woodson. "And oh boy, don't even get me started on the receivers. Consider them merely accessorised decoys to add flare to an otherwise mundane game." The statement sent shockwaves ricocheting throughout the sporting community, leaving quarterback agents dialing their clients to ensure they hadn't given up the ghost, and offensive coaches sketching up defensive plays in a foolish glimmer of hope. Big Ten's very own, Coach Defensive - whose name can't be more fitting - gleefully embraced the defensive paradigm shift, stating, "We have been keeping offenses in check since the days of Dick Butkus, Ray Nitschke, and Herb Adderley. So, to the offensive enthusiasts pressing their face against the window of change, we say, welcome to our world." Perhaps the offense-obsessed world of football should take heed. After all, in the Big Ten, where the tackles hit harder than midwestern winters and interceptions are as common as cornfields in Iowa, shutting down offenses is more than just a strategy. It's a way of life. Let the world remember the day when the Big Ten Defensive Juggernauts declared in unison, "Offense is Overrated." However, until the day arrives when games end in a 0-0 tie with defensive players lifting the cup, the offense might still have a small role to play. Perhaps. Maybe.