In the world's latest attempt to hang on to its rapidly unraveling sanity, NASA has decided to address the heating oceans by... you guessed it, watching them more intently! To achieve this heightened level of intrusion, NASA will use satellites currently equipped with thermal cameras to monitor how hot the ocean is getting, repeatedly, from the comforts of our offices. Because apparently, repeatedly confirming a fact somehow changes the reality of it. California's coastline is the latest to take a hit with its ocean temperatures skyrocketing so much that people might as well start replacing their swimming pools with beachfront property. "Yeah, it's just like having a giant hot tub. It's more like a steaming cauldron of impending decomposition, but stay in that tub, it's better for the environment!" said a random Californian, looking alarmingly sunburned. As the earth continues to cook in its own atmospheric juices, NASA has embarked upon a noble mission to sit back, relax, and watch in HD clarity, the Earth throw itself a grand farewell party. The Satellite Supervision - a program that’s propped up as an ambitious climatic inquiry, consists of a team of extremely qualified people who’ll be watching the ocean heat up, one pixel at a time, while we all prematurely age under an angry sun. Under this program, large liquid bodies slated to become the world’s next worst hot tubs are closely monitored. The top contenders are shockingly, the ones last affected, pushing premium coastal cities, luxury resorts, and peaceful retirement villages into a frenzy. “We’ll know exactly when it's too late and can all collectively exclaim ‘I told you so’,” said an official from NASA, wearing a t-shirt that read: "Stay cool, but remember the world is heating up". When asked how this monitoring helps in reversing climate change, the official expertly replied with, “Well, it doesn’t. But it gives us a sense of control. Plus, space stuff is cool." To maintain the illusion that we are doing ‘everything’ we can, some radical steps are projected like pouring ice into the ocean or creating an enormous planetary sunshade. They have the added benefit of making things sound even more apocalyptic than they already are, thus helping people feel a bit of an adrenaline rush in the face of impending doom. Ocean heating isn't just California's problem, it's a spicy hot tub issue that globally has us all in hot water (pun intended). With such unrelenting optimism in the face of certain catastrophe, this satellite operation just might prove to be the ray of hope we need - the shining light that allows us to watch in finessed detail as the world slowly cooks itself into oblivion.