In a groundbreaking twist of events, climate change reporting had its shining moment of recognition during the "Save The Earth: One Carbon Footprint Award At A Time" ceremony, outshining even Best Actor and Actress in a Supporting Role at the Oscars. The Guardian journalist responsible for the heartwrenching, emotion-stirring piece, 'Trees Are Wailing: At Least Some Of Us Can Hear', scooped up Longest Metaphor in a Climate Change Article, thereby cementing their place in Green Journalism’s Hall of Shame (I mean, Fame). A tearful acceptance speech ensued, where the winner thanked the global warming 'gods' for their relentless efforts in continuing to melt ice caps, incinerate forests, and cause hurricanes - all of which provided compelling material for the publication. Apparently, the ozone layer “hole” was a major inspiration too. The ‘Save The Earth’ ceremony caters to the emerging stars in the arena of woke journalism, handing out awards for categories such as ‘Most Convincing Graph of Doom’, ‘Fastest Misinterpretation of Scientific Research’, and ‘Most Fear-Inducing Hypothetical Scenario’. For critics grumbling over the introduction of these awards, the organizers retorted, “Hey, who’s counting the Oscars anymore anyway?” In other news, one might wonder how celebrities reacted to this game-changing addition to the otherwise 'boringly predictable' awards season. The 'Most Photographed in Recycled Outfits' award has become a coveted accolity among stars. Leonardo DiCaprio, a well-known environmental activist, lamented about missing the Best Use of Eco-Friendly Objects in a Motion Picture award for his plantable coaster in Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood. A special mention goes to the 'Best Ban on Plastic Straw Usage in Cafes' award, hotly contested by hipster coffee-shop owners everywhere. The competition was particularly tight this year, due to a higher number of contestants using social media campaigns to promote their establishments' sustainable efforts. The rebranding ceremony not only adds a twist to the traditional award season, but it also provides fodder for climate change skeptics who suggest that the real catastrophe is the corporate media's hijacking of climate science for the purpose of sensationalism and profit. But, hey, who are we to argue with progress? Let's just hope next year's ceremony is wind-powered and solar-heated.