As scientists around the globe again desperately attempt to convince humanity, who have mightily ignored them for the last three decades, that this planet is indeed heating up at an alarming rate, you have to wonder: is predicting climate change really just an exercise in futility? Dr. Caden Frost, an esteemed and abundantly ignored climatologist, shared his latest findings with the global community last Tuesday, suggesting that by the year 2100, average global temperatures will rise by a minimum of three degrees. This came just after 20 different climate models showed very similar results. Naturally, politicians, business leaders, and the everyday man heaved a collective sigh, muttered "not this again," and returned to their practices of wanton consumption and environmental neglect. Frost and his allies, the modern-day Chicken Littles of climate change, were visibly frustrated and cornered as they shared their grim predictions of melting ice caps, rising sea levels, and localized weather extremes. Yet, optimists around the globe managed to tune them out, assuring themselves that 'science' must be fallible and these pesky scientists are just too worried about being right, rather than having a nice, relaxing day at the increasingly warmer beach. The intrepid climatologist was later spotted at the local bar, red-eyed and nursing a vodka over climate models on his laptop. When asked why he bothers, given our species' talented ability to ignore harsh realities, Dr. Frost replied, "It's a bit like telling your friend over and over that he'll get sick if he keeps eating junk food, but he keeps convincing himself he's the exception to the rule." It seems that Frost and his fellow climate scientists are caught in a destructive loop – declaring the apocalypse, facing the public's indifference, and then going back to their drawing boards (or rather, computer simulation models) to whip up even more terrifying projections, hoping that their next one will finally make the world listen. But who's to say if it will? Some economists, however, are overjoyed at these predictions. “Global warming is just fantastic for business,” remarked entrepreneur Vickie Vandertramp, who recently launched a line of fashionable masks to combat the increasing air pollution and sun hats that double-up as umbrellas for sudden rainstorms in the desert heat. "It's high time someone started seeing the positive in everything, right?" So, while the world continues its dance of denial, and our scientists grow new grey hairs over the looming global apocalypse, let us applaud this talented set of humans who have so spectacularly taken to heart the phrase "ignorance is bliss." Forecasting the apocalypse might indeed turn out to be a futile attempt, but hey, on the bright side – ardent beach lovers might soon be able to enjoy a nice tan at the North Pole, and isn't that something to look forward to?