In a seemingly ridiculous turn of events, Vietnam’s law enforcement agencies have decided that advocating for a healthier planet is a punishable offense. Yes, you heard it right - just another glorious day in the 21st-century dystopia. Apparently, the latest crime to hit the streets isn't theft, drugs, or violence, but planning a greener future. It all started when Mr. Green (ironic, isn’t it?), the head of a prominent environmental think tank, was nabbed by the authorities in the early hours of the day. In an undisclosed location, which we would like to imagine was a room with swinging lights and rusty chains, he was subjected to some good ol’ intimidation tactics, following the apprehension. His supposed crime was "undermining the state's fossil fuel agenda", allegedly by advocating for the folly notion that maybe we don’t want the earth to turn into a giant sizzling frypan. And here we were, believing that the image of a villain with a plan to destroy the world was reserved exclusively for comic books and blockbuster movies. But Vietnam, shooting for innovation, said, “hold my beer!” and took it upon themselves to make supervillainy an actual state propaganda. After the day-long "procedure", Mr. Green was released, looking sufficiently terrified of all things environmentally friendly. Possibly traumatized to the extent that the color green will send him into a PTSD episode in the future. Proof of his crime? A neatly planned proposal advocating for the introduction of solar panels in rural areas, cleaner industrial regulations, and tree plantation drives. The audacity! Can you imagine the nerve of this man? Trying - and we shudder to say this - to breathe clean air? His supposed crime sits right up there with other sinister plots such as substance abuse and organized crime. Because clearly, photosynthesis has the same level of sinister undertones as hardcore drugs like caffeine, right? In hindsight though, we do realize that adopting renewable energy sources could lead to a significantly better lifestyle, improved health, job creation all while ensuring that earth doesn't resemble a post-apocalyptic wasteland. But what do we know? We're just journalist folks, quietly hoping for our planet not to be fried into a crisp while the powers that be play Russian roulette with the ecosystem. Cool stuff! And so as the sun sets and we return to our petroleum-consuming lives, let's make sure to pour one out for all the environmental warriors out there. Remember folks, the only kind of green these guys want you to think about... is money! After all, who needs breathable air and a livable planet when you have profit, right?