“When we mourned the passing of Achieng Abura, we knew that her loss would leave a void in the Kenyan Afro-jazz space. Lo and behold, it seems Heaven felt the void too. As of this writing, my highly reliable sources (I'm talking about your highly evolved third-eye here, third-eye chakra don't lie) inform me Heaven is jazzing up, literally! 'Jazzing Up Heaven: Achieng Abura's Heavenly Choir Auditions' it appears has not only become THE most coveted celestial event this side of eternity but also a dazzling saga of rhythm syncopation, soulful vibratos, and sanctified scatting that makes Archangel Gabriel's trumpet solos sound like beginners lessons in Mary's Harmonica and Hymns School. According to my inside source (a high-ranking seraph, who prefers to remain anonymous to maintain his standing in the Holy Sephiroth hierarchy), the auditions have been a major shake-up in the tranquil cloud platforms. The quiet strumming and angelic harmonizing is out, and in comes Achieng Abura's brand of Afro-jazz. Who knew that Afro-fusion would become the hottest thing in Heaven? I've been told that St. Peter, the typically mild-mannered gatekeeper, has decided to polish his lyre strings in anticipation of a Jarvis Cocker-level stage invasion (remember the Brit Awards ’96, anyone?). And the Heavenly Choir, renowned for its etiquette and decorum, has traded their politely coordinated tuning sessions for improv jazz moments. Word has it Elijah got so into a recent chorus of "Kijiji Records" that he divided his robe in two – much to Moses' alarm, who’s still stuck on his ‘Burning Bush Remastered Album’. Even the angels, seizing the chance to participate in the celestial audition, have packed up their harps in favor of saxophones and contrabasses, much to the Heavenly Orchestra's chagrin, causing a rare discord in the divine harmony. Who'd ever thought Heaven needed to 'tune it down a notch’? But it’s not all smooth sailing in this cloud based jazz festival. Virgin Mary, known for her amenable disposition, was seen scuttishly leaving an audition after failing to nail the multi-octave vocal range of Achieng Abura's hit "Wana Wanyika." And don’t even get me started on St. John; his dreams of reinventing himself from Revelations author to a saucy jazz crooner might hit a snag considering his rigid approach to rhythm – I mean the man could potentially turn Afro-jazz into a requiem mass given half a chance. Among insiders, there is silent speculation about whether Jesus himself might step down from the judge's seat to show these celestial beings how it's really done. After all, did He not turn water into wine at that wedding at Cana? I reckon turning ‘hymns into hot jazz’ wouldn't be that much of a stretch. Amongst all the celestial hubbub, it's business as usual for Achieng Abura herself. Already used to breaking new ground back in the mortal plane, she is all set to turn Heaven's choir from pacific lyre-strummers to theolonious hip-shakers. So let's raise a glass to the celestial change in tune. Jazz it up, Abura, because Heaven knows (literally), Afro-jazz needs its diva up there!”