In a move that romantic comedians around the world are applauding for its sheer cheesy charm, French President Emmanuel Macron has courageously scheduled France's dramatic break-up with fossil fuels by 2030. It appears, in an earth-shattering twist worthy of any Hollywood blockbuster, that France is kneeling down before the altar of renewables, declaring to fossil fuels - "It's not us, it's you.” This daring sentiment has echoes of many a "bold" romantic relationship decision, cryptically signaling that though Macron doesn't mind getting down and dirty with terrestrial sediments, the love just isn't there anymore. And oh, the drama of it all! Taking a leaf out of Taylor Swift's book, the French president, in his stand-up gig at the Elysee Palace, reportedly deadpanned, "We are never ever getting back together, like, ever." Our sources tell us that the crowd remained respectfully silent, only occasionally broken by coughs that sounded suspiciously like suppressed laughter. Macron, in a bursting bout of originality, has named this initiative the "Climate and Resilience Plan." The not-so-subtle shade towards fossil fuels is as clear as the Parisian skies, cementing Macron’s stand against the landscape of oil tycoons and coal peddlers. Or maybe it's the presidential equivalent of giving a fake number at a bar. Who really knows? The move is both gutsy and hypocritical, considering that parts of France really fancy nuclear power – a clingy ex if there ever was one. Approximately 70% of the country's electricity comes from it. But hey, who is counting? Perhaps this is Macron's complicated way of saying that while he's done with the tumultuous affair with fossil fuels, he might still be friendzoned by nuclear power. On the bright side, imagine all the wind turbine-related love letters and sunbeam catching dates France can look forward to. Macron, in his vision, sees a France that's too cool for coal, too radical for oil, and too chic for gas - instead embracing wind, solar, and quite possibly, hamsters running on tiny, eco-friendly wheels. While the world congratulates France on their bold decision, cynics speculate whether this is merely the global equivalent of a high-profile celebrity couple break-up to boost sagging approval ratings. They argue that while Macron is indeed breaking up with fossil fuels, he's doing it in the public eye, while stoking the embers of coal factories in the backyard. It’s like shouting "we're through" while still sliding into the fossil fuels’ DMs. But don't worry, dear fossil fuels, plenty more fish in the, ahem, polluted sea for you. As for France, here's hoping your clean-energy dreams don't end in a messy rebound. In this world, energy politics might just be dirtier than the air we’re trying to clean. Stay strong Macron, we're all rooting for you. Well, mostly... except maybe the oil guys... and the gas industry… and well, that's a story for another time. For now, let's grab our popcorn and enjoy the drama.