In a scene reminiscent of a sad puppy commercial, Manchester United faced yet another crushing defeat, this time at the hands of Wolverhampton Wanderers, who decided they’d show up for just one half of football. The final score? A triumphant 1-0 for the visitors, despite United’s heroic efforts to miss every chance that came their way. Head coach Ruben Amorim, apparently auditioning for a role as the world’s most indifferent manager, made sweeping changes to his lineup. Perhaps he was hoping to distract fans from the grim reality of a season filled with Europa League daydreams and league nightmare. Who needs consistency when you have a reserves bench that resembles a high school social studies class? The golden moment of the match came courtesy of Pablo Sarabia, whose free-kick was so sensational that it even made the United defense look momentarily interested in football. While Sarabia celebrated, the Red Devils could only ponder who might actually care about this match, hinting that even their kits might have checked out mentally. This match was United's 15th league defeat of the season—because, apparently, that’s a milestone worth celebrating. Fans have taken to telling each other it’s “just a game” while nervously clutching their social media accounts, ready to defend their club like it’s their childhood teddy bear. Amidst the gloom, however, there was a faint glimmer of hope: the cute youngsters! Indeed, when life hands you lemons, make sure to grab some adorable youth players to distract the masses. Raving about the potential of youngsters has become the default saving grace for United’s fans, as they console themselves with visions of a brighter future that resembles… well, anything but this current season. As the players trudged off the pitch, the real question lingered: will United embrace their destiny as the league’s lovable losers or rise from the ashes like a glorious phoenix—or at least a mildly entertaining pigeon? For now, the fans have accepted their fate with a shrug and a smile, figuring that next week’s matchup might just be another opportunity to appreciate their club's well-fetched lineup of youthful exuberance. The Premier League pity party continues, and as they say in Manchester, if you can’t win, at least make sure your kids look good doing it.