In a stunning turn of events, the residents of Mount Healthy have officially voted “nope” to the idea of traditional schooling, opting instead for Netflix learning as the new educational standard. The ballot measure—which began as a tongue-in-cheek suggestion in a local Facebook group—quickly gained momentum, leading to a landslide victory for the pro-streaming candidates, who campaigned on slogans like "Binge, Learn, and Chill!" The vote, which took place on what the newly dubbed “Binge Day,” saw residents casting their ballots while clutching their remotes and snacking on popcorn from the local movie theater. Election officials reported a record turnout, fueled by the promise of free snacks and the ability to stream educational documentaries from the comfort of home. Local resident and self-proclaimed Netflix scholar, Jennifer Flix, was ecstatic about the decision. “Who needs math class when you can watch ‘Nailed It!’ and learn about the delicate balance of baking and chaos?” she exclaimed while fiddling with her streaming account. “Plus, I can wear my pajamas while I absorb knowledge at 2 A.M.!” The school board, realizing that their plans for a new state-of-the-art facility were dashed, held an emergency meeting to discuss the implications of this “Nope to School” movement. Interim Superintendent Mo Reilly expressed his bewilderment. “We thought we were reaching our students with engaging content, but who could compete with a sweet six-hour ‘Planet Earth’ binge? Maybe we can just turn the school into a viewing center. I can see it now: ‘Math Mondays with The Office.’” The proposal for “Netflix Academy” includes a new curriculum featuring an array of shows categorically segmented by subject matter: Documentary Drama for Science, Reality TV for Social Studies, and thrilling procedurals for... well, everything else. Critics of the plan raised concerns about the lack of traditional educational elements, but supporters countered with a series of memes that effectively argued, “Why read textbooks when you can just Google the answers after binging?” Concerns about socialization were also brushed aside, as proponents argued that the vibrant discourse surrounding series finales and character arcs would lead to “more meaningful interactions” than anything happening in a stuffy classroom. “My kids can debate the merits of ‘Stranger Things’ versus ‘The Crown’ and come away with cultural insights that any lecture on European history would provide—if not more!” declared proud parent Tom Streamer, who was last seen engrossed in a 12-hour documentary marathon about the history of cheese. Meanwhile, the district’s teachers have been enlisted as “curators” for their assigned shows, promising to provide grade-appropriate content and suggest binge-watch schedules that wouldn’t conflict with family dinners. “We’re just adjusting to the times,” Ms. Knowsalot, a former fifth-grade teacher turned “couch leader,” remarked. “I might not have to grade papers anymore, but I’ll be there ready with a thoughtful recap and some solid binge-watching strategies.” As townsfolk settled into their new lifestyle, a dark horse candidate—an exercise guru promising “learn and burn” yoga sessions streamed live—announced plans to challenge the Netflix Academy with a fitness educational model. However, most residents shrugged it off, preferring to work off calories during their snack breaks in between episodes rather than breaking a sweat. While the rest of the country bombards schools with questions about curriculum reform and digital learning, Mount Healthy takes a bold new leap into pop culture education. As residents now fondly declare, “Who needs lockers when you have streaming?” Only time will tell if this revolutionary move will lead to a bright future full of couch potatoes or a generation of avid binge-watchers who are ready to challenge the academic elite with their knowledge of trivia and plot twists. In the meantime, pass the popcorn!