New Rescue Strategy Unveiled: Digging INTO Mountains to Save the Ones Digging THROUGH Mountains!
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Facing an unprecedented challenge, rescue teams resort to drilling into mountains to save trapped tunnel diggers in a daring twist of fate.
In a mind-bending twist of geology and irony, rescue teams tasked with saving 40 workers trapped in a collapsed tunnel have resorted to drilling into the mountain to save the men whose job it was to drill through it.
The rescue plan, described by critics as an all too convincing parody of humanity's unstoppable penchant for digging holes, will see drilling machines placed atop the site in the scenic Himalayan state of Uttarakhand.
"We're simply switching directions," said Drill Operations Director Rocky Stone, "instead of drilling through the mountain, we're now drilling into the Mountain. It’s just a subtle change in preposition really, but the situation is unprecedented."
It should be noted that previous attempts at the mouth of the tunnel yielded no result, thus presumably prompted this inverse approach. "We tried digging through,” mused Stone, “but it seems that mountains are surprisingly resistant to being bored into. Who knew?"
The tunnel-in-question - currently less a tunnel and more an avant-garde interpretation of an underground rock formation - collapsed due to a landslide, thereby trapping the 40 workers. Contact with the majority of the workers had been cut off since the event. Hence the persistence to continue digging, albeit in various unconventional angles.
The rescue team, undeterred by their current predicament, raised the morale by announcing plans to broaden the operation even further. Ideas being pitched include teaching mountain goats to perform search and rescue, inventing telekinetic rock-shifting and even engaging the services of the famous superhero, The Mole Man.
Despite the extraordinary circumstances, Mr. Stone remains optimistic about the rescue efforts. "People used to say, 'You can't get blood from a stone,'" he commented. "Now they might soon start saying, 'You can't rescue tunnel diggers without a mountain of effort.' Or something a little snappier. We're still workshopping that one."
As of now, the rescue mission continues at the somber pace of a snail outrunning a glacier. We wish the trapped workers, and the undeniably inventive rescue team, all the very best.
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Original title: Uttarakhand tunnel collapse: Rescuers to drill from top
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