In a move mimicking the comedic timing of a seasoned pantomime horse, Chancellor Rishi Sunak's latest green U-turn has succeeded in mounting disapproval from the very same business titans who, only six years ago, raked then-Labour leader Ed Miliband over the coals for suggesting anything remotely similar. "The audacity of Sunak to steal the limelight with our criticism," said one unnamed titan, presumably from atop his literal or metaphorical mountain of money. "This is already a pretty competitive market - there's only so much outrage we can spew around." Despite having previously argued for more subsidies, the elite business group spat feathers when the chancellor had the audacity to implement a hastily conceived plan that could potentially benefit both the environment and the economy. A move certainly offensive in its intelligent design - a green initiative benefiting the economy? Preposterous! "I had my pitchfork ready for tax increases!" complained multi-billionaire, Terry Tightfist. "Now, instead of protesting higher business taxes, I need to invest in greener technologies or face penalties. It's such a nuisance." Another titan, who preferred to remain unnamed, was heard muttering about the 'awkwardness' of having to voice disapproval for what was basically his own idea that he has been championing for years. "Last time when Labour suggested something like this, they were essentially calling for us to stop printing money using the smoke of burning £50 notes, which, frankly, would have put an end to the festive Christmas ambience at the office," another titan explained, visibly nostalgic. However, what was initially mistaken for more hot air from Sunak – harder to trace that way – has recently been recognised as a green strategy. Experts have since speculated whether this new, sensible plan was a mistake, misplaced from someone else's manifesto, or merely a clumsy attempt to generate symbolic smoke without fire. Sunak’s office, when asked about the disapproval from business titans, commented, "Those guys? They'll complain if the wind changes direction. Speaking of which, have they considered investing in wind farms?" With this stark about-face from the Conservative party, hardcore cynics might dare say something smells fishy in the state of politics... and considering Sunak's consistent U-turns, it might not be the last turn that raises a few eyebrows or, indeed, sea levels. Only time will tell whether the Chancellor's rollercoaster policy approach will be beneficial for the environment or will simply go down as another piece of political grandstanding.