In a blatant disregard of societal norms and everything your well-meaning mum told you about visiting Mother Nature, Sydney has impulsively shed her cooling coastal cloak to transform herself into a sweltering sauna. The Harbour City decided, apparently on a whim, to match the roaring intensity of Victoria's premature bushfire ignition, taking the scorched spirit of camaraderie a notch too high. The city, typically basking in a balmy climate, decided it wasn't enough to merely empathize with its southern sisters. Sydney aimed to outdo itself by enduring the blazing phenomenon upfront. Keen to be associated with Victoria's 'hell hath no fury like Mother Nature scorned' situation, it plunged headlong into the sweltering abyss. Sydney's impromptu sauna transformation has resulted in a steady stream of sweaty selfies from frazzled Sydneysiders, keeping the social media platforms abuzz. While the sudden climate cosplay may not be inviting for many, it has fortified the spirits of militant sauna enthusiasts who are taking this opportunity to creep out of their basement lairs and bask in the dry, furnace-like air. Meanwhile, in Victoria, the early ignition of bushfire season raised eyebrows. BBQ season, that glorious annual ritual where Victorians play with fire and triangle-shaped meat pieces while downing a slab, seems to have started prematurely this year. The seasonal shift nudged neighbours into a gastronomic race, one that can only be combated with the overwhelming smell of char-grilled kangaroo, sizzling sausages, and over-enthusiastic chilli beans. Fire unions have responded with half-hearted surprise to the early start of bushfire season. Union chief, Bill Smolder, wielding his well-worn firehose ironically commented, “Oh, crickey! The bushfires have started early this year. Never happened before.” His team spent last night randomly spraying water at the sky in a desperate bid to trick Mother Nature into surrendering some rain. Local seagulls already accustomed to the reckless behaviour of Victorians have taken to wearing tiny aviation goggles to protect their eyes from the choking smoke. Even the local wildlife starts speculating about the cause of the early bushfires, presuming it might be a result of some rowdy BBQ-party gone wrong or some misdirected climate policy. Amidst the chaos, one wonders if Australia's iconic laid-back ambiance and breezy barbeques will now be lost in translation, as Sydney lays down its beach towels in the heated halls of a makeshift sauna, and Victorian BBQers frantically lick their fingers clean of bushfire ash. Is this the new normal? Sorry, planet. You're not invited.