In a groundbreaking moment for international diplomacy, Donald Trump and Volodymyr Zelensky managed to find a sliver of time between solemn nods and polite coughs at Pope Francis's funeral to discuss the pressing issue of world peace—or at least how to look good while trying. Eyewitnesses reported that the two leaders exchanged more than just awkward glances; they also shared some heartfelt suggestions about how Zelensky should handle his negotiations with Russia, all while standing in a funeral hallway that had apparently become the newest hotspot for political discourse. “It was like watching two old friends catch up, except instead of reminiscing about college years, they were discussing whether or not Crimea should be 'taken off the table' for a nightly poker game with Putin,” remarked one anonymous onlooker, who had quickly grown weary of the emotional somberness that funerals usually entail. Trump reportedly approached Zelensky with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, boasting, “Why not just consider giving that lovely little peninsula back to the Russians? It’s not like they’ll use it to launch missiles or anything!” Zelensky, caught completely off guard, merely nodded with a half-smile, possibly wondering if this was how foreign policy was conducted from now on: against the backdrop of a Catholic funeral, with cries of “Let’s make deals!” mingling with prayers for the dearly departed. The encounter came after Trump had previously criticized Zelensky for not securing a peace deal with Russia, calling him “a little slow on the uptake.” Twirling his trademark hair, Trump continued to suggest that “concessions” were key, especially ones he himself wouldn’t have to make. “If I were in charge, you’d simply negotiate all the way—think of it as a classy pawn shop deal,” he said, as he rummaged through a bouquet of funeral flowers, perhaps looking for something to barter. Zelensky, who can probably negotiate his way out of a paper bag, humorously quipped, “Maybe we could add an item to the agenda for our next NATO meeting on ethics around funerals as venues for diplomacy.” With a twinkle in his eye, he agreed to think about Trump’s *totally* serious proposals after he returned from what is bound to be an awkward journey home, bracing himself for the local media's interpretation of the encounter. As the two men parted ways, the world watched with bated breath. Could this unexpected collaboration at a funeral mark the beginnings of peace, or would it just become another headline in a long string of Trump-Zelensky encounters that led absolutely nowhere? Only time—and perhaps a couple more funerals—will tell. For now, the funeral hallway remains an uncharted territory for political summits, far away from the usual boardrooms and press conferences. After all, nothing says global diplomacy quite like floral arrangements and mournful hymns!