Washington D.C. Celebrates NFL Draft Return: City Council to Install 'Commanders Fan Club' Membership as New Tax Deduction! In a groundbreaking move that promises to reshape the fabric of tax code and fan loyalty, the D.C. City Council has announced that 'Commanders Fan Club' memberships will now be eligible for a tax deduction. The decision comes just one week after the city successfully wooed the Washington Commanders back into its loving embrace, after years spent in the wilderness of Maryland. Mayor Bowser, donning a brand new Commanders jersey, exclaimed, "We’ve heard the cries of our fans! This isn’t just taxation; it's liberation! Now, when you pay for that overpriced foam finger or the annual membership fee that guarantees you get access to the worst seats in the house, you can also write it off come April!" The move has been met with a mix of fervor and bewilderment among the citizenry. Local restaurants have already begun devising elaborate ‘Fan Club Specials’ that include deep-fried nachos with a side of ‘I-can't-believe-they-threw-that-pass’ sauce. “If it helps fans justify spending hundreds on snacks and paraphernalia, then who are we to question it?” commented one local bar owner, while pouring a ‘Hail to the Ale’ special. Furthermore, the city council has proposed a new “Patriotism Package” giving bonuses to members who can accurately recite the number of interceptions thrown by the last three starting quarterbacks. Those scoring above a certain threshold will be rewarded with a ceremonious plaque and, more importantly, free parking at the next home game—if they can find a spot. Critics, however, are concerned about potential tax fraud. Experts warn that some fans may exaggerate their involvement in the fan club just to exploit the deduction. Reports of fans submitting receipts for ridiculous items such as “1 singular hot dog during Super Bowl LII” or “a picture of myself with the football statue outside FedEx Field” are already emerging. In an unexpected twist, even the infamous scoreboard operator, who once misspelled “touchdown” live on-air, has thrown his hat into the ring, advocating for a “Scoreboard Operator Tax Credit” to offset the emotional trauma inflicted upon fans. "It's high time someone covered for our mistakes," he stated, "After all, what's a little anxiety when you can get a deduction?" As the city prepares for the NFL Draft return, mixed feelings reign. The prospect of drawing thousands of fanatics (and their wallets) back into D.C. seems like a safety net for local businesses – and perhaps a tax loophole for those crafty enough to flaunt their loyalty. So whether you're a die-hard fan or a casual observer, remember: finding ways to squeeze your fandom into a tax deduction could turn you into the MVP of the financial world. In D.C., it's football, financial acumen, and, of course, a little bit of folly – all rolled into one.