WESTCHESTER COUNTY - Sources close to the situation confirm that Siamak Namazi, a Persian American entrepreneur hailing from scenic Westchester County, has finally packed up his Persian rugs and run out of Iran after a lengthy eight-year "vacation" in the lemony confines of Tehran's prisons. Namazi, whose relaxing getaway in Iran had been extended involuntarily since 2015, could be heard energetically rhapsodizing about his impromptu "cultural immersion" experience as he boarded a gleaming jet bound for Qatar, and eventually his ultimate destination, the distraction-filled corridors of Washington D.C. "Nothing quite says 'unforgettable escape' like being held captive in one of the world's most notorious prisons," quipped Namazi, illustrating his stoic, cheery resilience. "I've experienced so much, grown so much, also been interrogated, so much." His contented uncle, Hushang Namazi, from the luxurious borough of Yonkers, described the emotional rollercoaster of the last eight years as “a singular thrill”, supplementing their annual Thanksgiving reunions with an edge of uncertainty and potential international diplomatic crisis. "Let me tell you, Siamak's postcards were cryptic and sparse, sure, but they had an authentic vibe that spoke to his intense Iranian hideaway," Hushang explained, waving a postcard that read: "Dear Uncle, staircases here are tall. Met the nicest interrogator today. Bring baklava next time." Although Namazi's intensely insightful Iranian adventure has drawn to a close, and he’ll be readjusting to the crushing normalcy of Westchester County before long, he claims there is a silver lining to his diplomatic ordeal. “I am about to drop the most detailed and gripping TripAdvisor review Tehran has ever seen,” he said, chuckling. "Oh, to offer some suggestions for the room service and the amenities in the interrogation cells. They could really use some softer cushions and perhaps fresher local produce." As he embarks on his return journey, Namazi wants to remind America's adventurous travelers to always read the fine print, especially when booking vacations through obscure internet deals that seem too good to be true. And with that, he’s off to trade in his vibrant Persian prison garb for an unexciting robe and slippers, ensuring a riveting suburban memoir to begin composition. A warm welcome home, Siamak! Your absent neighborhood has missed your presence at the annual local book club meetings.