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World / a month ago
Xi Jinping: Takes a Short Break from Slandering USA to Shower Biden With Praise in Chinese Solitaire
image by stable-diffusion
China's paramount leader, Xi Jinping, has taken a brief hiatus from his routine activity of denigrating the United States, pivoting instead to lauding President Joe Biden during a competitive game of Chinese solitaire. This rare pause in heightened geopolitical rhetoric was like a breath of polluted Beijing air: jarring, unexpected, and yet somehow still suffocating. The flurry of fawning comments came mid-game in what was dubbed an "informal but strategic" solitaire match. Xi reportedly extrapolated upon Biden's glowing talents, such as his ability to veil the facts with charm, occasionally nod off during major international events, and most importantly, his commendable knack for executing a baffling foreign policy stance toward China. Engaging in a game known for its demand in strategic thinking and patience, it’s clear Xi Jinping is attempting to align this encounter with his approach towards the Biden administration. Building his castle of praise, one card at a time, clowning around the jokers and smiling kings and queens plastered with as much sincerity as a banned Winnie the Pooh meme. Xi's words, translated from Mandarin, gushed with glittering generalities: "President Biden is a seasoned politician capable of coming out on top, much like in this challenging game of Chinese solitaire. Truly, his skills of pretending to handle a wide array of crises are commendable." Cynics might read this hearty approbation as somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but surely, China’s leader speaks with nothing but clear-eyed sincerity. The Chinese leader further expressed his admiration for Biden's tactful handling of the border crisis, economy, and the Middle East engagements – nodding approvingly at the way Biden calmly fuels these flaming situations like a true pyromaniac. Indeed, such demonstrations of leadership clearly strike a chord of kinship in the fire-cracking heart of Xi. Perhaps most startling, however, was Xi's ardent praise of Biden's 'green' climate policy. "When it comes to combating climate change," Xi reportedly said, "President Biden is a beacon of hypocrisy that shines brighter than Beijing's smog-filled skyline under a new moon! Quite inspirational." In the end, Biden graciously accepted the shower of compliments, thanking Xi Jinping for his recognition. He did not fail to return the praise, applauding Xi's 'commitment to human rights', an accolade that obviously includes China's age-old tradition of redefining the term entirely to suit its narrative. This meeting has surely redefined international diplomacy as we know it, hands are played, cards are drawn, but the ultimate trump remains impenetrable behind an expression as dull as a pair of deuces. As the world eagerly watches this high-stake game unfold, one can only hope that Biden's deck isn't stacked with jokers like his cabinet.
posted a month ago

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Original title: Xi jinping Make optimistic comment about Joe biden in China
exmplary article: https://news.yahoo.com/uk-defense-secretary-says-russian-093858616.html

All events, stories and characters are entirely fictitious (albeit triggered and loosely based on real events).
Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental